Kevin
Quote:
- Kevin: I kinda know what it’s like to be in commercials. My nickname in high school used to be Kool-Aid Man.
tags: Kevin | Season 4, Episode 5: "Local Ad"
Quote:
- Kevin: The bar uses an applause meter. That is why it is so important that you all come and applaud only for my band, Scrantonicity 2, not Scrantonicity (which I am no longer a part of).
tags: Kevin | Season 4, Episode 4: "Money"
Quote:
- Kevin: I love fake boobs. Oftentimes you find them on strippers.
tags: Kevin | Season 3, Episode 23: "The Job"
Quote:
- Kevin: Hey, what’s different about you? You look worse.
- Jim: Thank you.
- Meredith: You got a haircut. It’s sexy hot.
- Jim: Oh…
- Meredith: Turn around.
- Jim: No.
- Meredith: Comon’.
- Jim: No thanks.
- Meredith: Do it!!!
Quote:
- Kevin: I just want to lie on the beach and eat hot dogs. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.
Quote:
- Kevin: If someone gives you 10,000-to-1 on anything you take it. If John Mellencamp ever wins an Oscar I am going to be a very rich dude.
Quote:
- Kevin: This is the third wedding that Scrantonicity has played.
Quote:
- Kevin: Hello Oscar, how was your gay-cation?
- Oscar: That’s very funny.
- Keving: Yeah? I thought of that, like, two seconds after you left.
Quote:
- Kevin: I had Martin explain to me three times what he got arrested for because it sounds and awful lot like what I do here every day.
Quote:
- Kelly: It’s got salmon…
- Michael: For the guests it is. For you consider it cow meat, strictly taboo.
- Kelly: I eat beef.
- Michael: Well…then consider it poisoned beef. No touchy…
- Kevin: The beef is poisoned?
- Michael: It’s not…it’s…just sit down please.
Quote:
- Kevin: In general they do not give me much responsibility, but they do let me shred the company documents and that is really all I need.
Quote:
- Michael: Another thing about the Indian people: they love sex positions. I present to you the Kama Sutra. I mean look at that, who has seen that before?
- Creed: I have. That’s ‘The Union of the Monkey’
- Meredith: Oh that’s what they call it.
- Kevin: This is the best meeting we have ever had.
- Michael: Thank you Kevin.
Quote:
- Kevin: Did you hear? Pam’s back on the market again.
- Toby: Really? She’s dating?
- Kevin: If I weren’t engaged I would so hit that.
Quote:
- Oscar: [to Kevin] Skin cancer is treatable. It’s gonna be ok.
- Angela: You don’t know it’s going to be ok. Don’t give him false hope.
Quote:
- Kevin: [on the thermostat] I always set it at 69. [giggles]
