Dunderball: An Office Fansite - Phyllis

Gavel

Fri, 24 Oct 2008 02:33:01 -0500

Quote:

Michael: What the hell was that?

Phyllis: It's the only gavel I could find...

Michael: It squeaks when you bang it...that's what she said!

Astird

Fri, 17 Oct 2008 02:10:11 -0500

Quote:

Angela: This is your boy bowl with the name Chevy

Michael: That was me.

Angela: And this is the girl bowl with M&Ms with the name Astird

Phyllis: That can't be right...

Angela: Michael wrote down Astird.

Michael: She said it is the name of a Viking princess...so...

Meredith: Astird

Michael: I know. I know. It is beautiful. Thank you.

Full Responsibility

Fri, 28 Sep 2007 18:26:27 -0500

Quote:

Michael: Ok, I have an announcement.

Oscar: You pushed Darryl out the window…

Phyllis You shot Dwight…

Michael: Ok, that is not funny. I love my employees even though I hit one of you with my car for which I take full responsibility.

Hanging Brain

Fri, 04 May 2007 02:59:24 -0500

Quote:

Phyllis: I was walking to the building and this man asked me for directions and he was holding a map and when I walked over he had “it” out on the map.

Angela: Phyllis, you’re a married woman!

Creed: The guy was just hanging brain. I mean, what’s all the fuss? [aside] If that’s flashing then lock me up.

Honeymoon

Fri, 09 Feb 2007 02:12:50 -0600

Quote:

Phyllis: Yes, I put Michael in my wedding, it was the only way I could think to get six weeks off for my honeymoon. No one else has ever gotten six weeks before…

Explosive

Fri, 19 Jan 2007 02:23:31 -0600

Quote:

Phyllis: Dwight had a big personality and I have a big personality and a lot of times when two people like that get together it can be explosive.

Whole Pigs

Fri, 05 Jan 2007 02:11:28 -0600

Quote:

Phyllis: I called every grocery store in Scranton, no one sells whole pigs.

Angela: Did you try the petting zoo?

Rotten Mess

Fri, 15 Dec 2006 12:21:14 -0600

Quote:

Michael: Fine! Have your party! Just no guests!

Phyllis: But we invited guests.

Michael: Well you know what Phyllis? All of your guests would have probably cancelled at the last minute anyway leaving your life a stupid rotten mess.

Perfume

Fri, 17 Nov 2006 03:25:30 -0600

Quote:

Phyllis: Bob Vance bought this perfume for me in metropolitan Orlando. It’s made from real pine.

Karen: Who’s Bob Vance?

Phyllis: You have a lot to learn about this town sweetie.

Put Out

Fri, 29 Sep 2006 02:22:03 -0500

Quote:

Phyllis: [to Pam] You should order the most expensive thing on the menu. So he knows you're worth it.

Stanley: If you do that you're gonna have have to put out.

Phyllis: Oh yeah, you'll have to put out.

Real Disability

Fri, 13 Jan 2006 04:02:20 -0600

Quote:

Michael: Can I ask you all a question? Do you know what it’s like to be disabled?

Phyllis: I had scoliosis as a girl…

Michael: No. A real disability, not a woman’s trouble.

Creed: When I was a teenager, I was in an iron-lung.

Michael: Wha-? How old are you? The point is: I am the only one here who has a legitimate disability (although I am sure Stanley has had his fair share of obstacles).

Stanley: I’m not disabled and neither are you.

Michael: [flings a crutch] What does this look like to you Stanley? [shows Stanley his bubble-wrapped grilled foot]

Stanley: Mail Boxes Etcetera…

Toilet Paper

Fri, 13 Jan 2006 03:58:41 -0600

Quote:

Michael: Can someone come and get me please? Ryan?

Phyllis: Michael, you should stay home and rest…

Michael: There’s no toilet paper here…tell Ryan to bring toilet paper, can you tell him that?

Phyllis

Fri, 02 Dec 2005 02:29:07 -0600

Quote:

Todd: There’s this guy and he’s at a nymphomaniac convention and he is psyched because all these women are smokin’ hot perfect 10s except for this one woman who looks a lot like…like [points at Phyllis]

Kevin: Phyllis?

Michael: No, no, no…that crosses the line.

Todd: Ex-squeeze me?

Michael: Not you, Kevin. It’s just unwarranted. Hostile work environment Kevin.

Kevin: Well Packer said it.

Michael: No you said it. He pointed. A point is not a say. Look Kevin, we are a family here. And Phyllis is a valued member of that family…like a grandmother.

Phyllis: I’m the same age as you Michael…

Michael: I don’t know about that.

Phyllis: We’re in the same high-school class.

Michael: Well, I had a late birthday and usually September is the cutoff point…

Bushiest Beaver

Fri, 02 Dec 2005 02:20:18 -0600

Quote:

Michael: The “Busiest Beaver Award” goes to Phyllis Lapin. Yeah! Way to go Phyllis. Nice work per usual.

Phyllis: [looking at the trophy] This says “Bushiest Beaver”.

Cheerleader

Thu, 01 Dec 2005 16:54:25 -0600

Quote:

Pam: Maybe Angela would cheerlead?

Phyllis: I'll do it.

Michael: Oh yuck. That's worse than you playing!