Season 3, Episode 2: "The Convention"
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- Michael: Whoa…what are all those stains?
- Dwight: Blood, urine or semen…
- Michael: Oh God I hope it’s urine.
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- Jan: Well Michael…I underestimated you.
- Michael: Yeah well maybe next time you will estimate me.
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- Michael: [to Jim] Is Josh funnier than I am? Does he even have a girlfriend? Because I have two…basically…
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- MIchael: [to Dwight] I want you to dig up some dirt on Josh. Find out if there are any skeletons in his attic.
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- Michael: SWAG! ‘Stuff we all get’. I basically decorated my condo for free with all of my SWAG!
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- Kevin: Did you hear? Pam’s back on the market again.
- Toby: Really? She’s dating?
- Kevin: If I weren’t engaged I would so hit that.
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- Michael: [to Jim] Come here you. Come here. Ahhh…the prodig..the progidal…the son returns!
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- Michael: Guess where I am going? I will give you a hint. It is a booze-fueled sex romp where anything goes…you are correct sir! I am headed to Philadelphia for the annual Northeastern Mid-Market Office Supply Convention.
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- Michael: Pam? Did you see Oprah yesterday?
- Pam: No, I didn’t.
- Michael: I…uh…I am going to be a father
- Pam: What was Oprah about?
- Michael: Angelina Jolie was on and she adopted a baby from Asia. And she said that changed her life and that really inspired me. So I want you to look into see how much a little Chinese baby would cost…
Quote:
- Phyllis: [to Pam] You should order the most expensive thing on the menu. So he knows you're worth it.
- Stanley: If you do that you're gonna have have to put out.
- Phyllis: Oh yeah, you'll have to put out.
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- Michael: I was shocked when he told me that he was transferring to Stamford. It's like with fireman, you don't leave your brothers behind, even if you find out there is a better fire in Connecticut.
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- Angela: In the Martin family we like to say, "Looks like someone took the slow train from Philly" that's code for "Check out the slut".
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- Michael: [on Jim's transfer] Poor little guy has been stuck working under Scott. The poor man's Michael, as he is known....around my condo.
