Season 5, Episode 3: "Baby Shower"
Quote:
- Stanley: I do not like pregnant women in my workspace. They're always complaining. I have varicose veins too. I have swollen ankles, I'm constantly hungry. You think my nipples don't get sore too? You think I don't need to know the fastest way to the hospital?
Quote:
- Michael: It does not matter to me at all whether this baby is biologically mine. I am going to love it.
It's like when the dog nurses the tiger cub. Have you seen that video? It is...it's so unnatural, but it...it...happens.
Quote:
- Michael: Is this it? I mean is this...two bowls of M&Ms and some balloons? You know what Phyllis?
I think you need to step it up. I think you need to get the lead out. Because if I'm not mistaken,
we gave you your wedding shower here. We all came into this room and gave you a golden shower.
Well you know what? Where's my golden shower Phyllis.
Quote:
- Angela: This is your boy bowl with the name Chevy
- Michael: That was me.
- Angela: And this is the girl bowl with M&Ms with the name Astird
- Phyllis: That can't be right...
- Angela: Michael wrote down Astird.
- Michael: She said it is the name of a Viking princess...so...
- Meredith: Astird
- Michael: I know. I know. It is beautiful. Thank you.
Quote:
- Dwight: Babies are one of my many areas of expertise. Growing up I performed my own circumcision.
Quote:
- Jim: Jan is about to have a baby with a sperm donor. And Michael is preparing for the birth of a watermelon with Dwight. Now this baby will be related to Michael through...delusion!