Season 2, Episode 10: "Christmas Party"
Quote:
- Cashier: That comes to $166.41.
- Michael: Alright, now you’re the expert, is this enough to get 20 people plastered?
- Cashier: 15 bottles of vodka? Yeah that should do it…
Quote:
- Michael: Unbelievable. I do the nicest thing that anyone’s ever done for these people and they freak-out. Well happy birthday Jesus, sorry your party’s so lame.
Quote:
- Michael: Yankee Swap is like Machiavelli meets Christmas.
Quote:
- Kevin: I want the foot-bath. That’s the thing I bought myself, I’m really psyched to use it…maybe I should’ve taken the iPod…awww shoot!
Quote:
- Dwight: [shooting his paintball gun] Take that Saddam!
Quote:
- Dwight: Two paintball lessons with someone as experienced as I am is worth easily like 2 grand.
Quote:
- Michael: [opens gift] In addition to these paintball pellets, your gift includes two paintball lessons with Dwight Schrute.
- Dwight: [hand up for a high-five] You and me Michael, yes!!!
- Michael: Who wants to take paintball lessons? How is that better than an iPod?
Quote:
- Michael: I got it! We are going to turn Secret Santa into…Yankee Swap.
- Jim: What is Yankee Swap?
- Michael: One person chooses a gift. The next person can either choose a gift or steal that person’s gift. If your gift gets stolen than you can steal someone else’s gift or choose a new gift.
- Jim: I thought that was called “Nasty Christmas”
- Pam: Yeah, we call it White Elephant
- Michael: Well I call it fun.
- Oscar: Why are we doing this?
- Michael: Because it’s better, because it’s more special…
Quote:
- Michael: So Phyllis is basically saying “Hey Michael, I know you did a lot to help the office this year, but I only care about you and oven mitt’s-worth”. I gave Ryan an iPod!
Quote:
- Ryan: [opening Secret Santa gift] Whoa…Video iPod.
- Michael: Wow…jeez, someone really got carried away with the spirit of Christmas. That was me. I got carried away by the spirit…
- Ryan: Wasn’t there a $20 limit on the gift? This is 400 bucks.
- Michael: You don’t know that…
- Ryan: Yeah, you left the price tag on.
Quote:
- Michael: Presents are the best way to show someone how much you care. It is like this tangible thing that you can point to and say “Hey man, I love you this many dollars-worth”.
Quote:
- Kevin: [on his Secret Santa assignment] I got myself for Secret Santa. I was supposed to tell somebody, but I didn’t.
Quote:
- Toby: [on his Secret Santa assignment I got Angela. She’s into these posters of babies dressed as adults. I got her one of those. I felt…kinda weird buying that.
Quote:
- Michael: I want people to cut loose. I want people making out in closets. I want people hanging from the ceilings…lampshades on the head…I want it to be a Playboy Mansion party.
Quote:
- Michael: It was a tough year. I had to fire somebody this year. Yeesh. This party has to really rock. Check it out [holds up check], Christmas bonus…3 G’s. I got this for helping save the company money. So I guess some good came out of firing Devon after all. Maybe I should call him and tell him that.