Season 2, Episode 13: "The Secret"
Quote:
- Dwight: Guess what I found out about Oscar tonight? He was lying about being sick! Should I have reported Oscar’s malfeasance? Hmm…probably. But now I know something he doesn’t want me to know. So I can use his malfeasance to establish leverage. Otherwise, it’s just malfeasance for malfeasance’s sake.
Quote:
- Toby: You just got your corporate credit card back. Do you really want me to take it away again?
- Michael: I put a cigarette through a freakin quarter! And you know what Toby? They almost bought from us!!!
Quote:
- Michael: [discussing his corporate credit card] It’s ridiculous. They took my card away because I spent eighty bucks at a magic shop. What they don’t understand is that I bought the stuff to impress potential clients…
Quote:
- Ryan: If I had to I could clean out my desk in 5 seconds and nobody would know I had ever been here. And I’d forget too…
Quote:
- Dwight: Hey Oscar how are you doin’, Dwight Schrute calling. LIsten, little question for ya buddy. I called 6 minutes ago and no one answered, so I was wonder if you could explain…oh…I see so it sounds like you’re too sick to come into work but you’re well enough to go to the pharmacy.
Quote:
- Michael: So what’s the 411? Any updates on the P situation?
- Jim: I don’t know what you mean…
- Michael: P-A-M…P-A-M?
- Jim: Oh…ok
- Michael: No it’s ok. We’re talkin’ code.
Quote:
- Michael: See the game last night?
- Jim: Which game?
- Michael: …any of them....
Quote:
- Dwight: Listen temp, I am conducting a little investigation. So I am no longer gonna to be able to head up spring cleaning. Do you think you can handle it?
- Ryan: Yeah, I think I can handle it.
- Dwight: Do you think or do you know?
- Ryan: I think.
- Dwight: Oh God…
Quote:
- Michael: Jim and I are great friends. We hang out a ton…mostly at work…
Quote:
- Dwight: [while Michael is on the phone with Oscar] Ask him the symptoms…I’m on WebMD.
Quote:
- Michael: I heard you were under the weather.
- Oscar: Yeah, I think I came down with the flu.
- Michael: Really? Oh that is a shame. You know it’s cleaning day here today? Could’ve used some of that famous Hispanic cleaning ethic…
Quote:
- Michael: They say a cluttered desk means a cluttered mind. Well I say an empty desk means an…
- Dwight: …empty mind…
- Michael: No…no, that’s not what I was gonna say…
Quote:
- Michael: Today is spring cleaning day here at Dunder Mifflin and -- yes, I know it’s January, I am not an idiot -- but if you do your spring cleaning in January, guess what you don’t have to do in spring? Anything…