Season 2, Episode 17: "Dwight's Speech"
Quote:
- Dwight: We must never cede control of the motherland!!! For it is…
- Audience: Together that we prevail!!!
Quote:
- Dwight: We are warriors!!! Salesmen of Northeastern Pennsylvania!!! I ask you to rise and once more be worthy of this historical hour!
Quote:
- Dwight: [pounds the podium] Blood alone moves the wheels of history!!!
Quote:
- Michael: I’m very sorry I did not know that you were wearing a hearing aid. I just thought that you were speaking abnormally…
Quote:
- Kevin: [on the thermostat] I always set it at 69. [giggles]
Quote:
- Michael: I wanted to say a few words about excellence. What makes a work environment excellent? Well, there are many things – I believe – that do such…of thing…of that nature…
Quote:
- Michael: Dwight is not going to do a good job. It’s sad. And they’re expecting excellence because I did such a good job. Two years in a row…I killed. It was amazing.
Quote:
- Dwight: I’m not nervous in front of them. They are my subordinates.
- Jim: No, we’re not.
- Dwight: Yes, you are. I am the assistant regional manager…
- Jim: Which means absolutely nothing…
- Dwight: Michael can you explain?
- Michael: Well…it’s mostly made-up…
Quote:
- Kevin: You should go to Hedonism. It’s like Club Med, but everything is naked.
Quote:
- Michael: Pam, I’m public speaking. Stop public interrupting me! Actually, this would be good practice for your wedding toast.
- Pam: Yeah, the bride doesn’t really do…have you ever been to a wedding?
Quote:
- Dwight: I can’t do this.
- Michael: That’s because you’re incapable of doing it. Because you don’t know how. Because you have no skills. Dwight there’s no way I can possibly teach you what you need to know about public speaking by speech time.
- Dwight: Ok…
- Michael: But I can teach you enough so that you don’t embarrass me or the company.
Quote:
- Dwight: When I was in the sixth grade I was a finalist in our school spelling bee. It was me against Raj Patel. And I misspelled, in front of the entire school, the word ‘failure’.
Quote:
- Michael: I miss the feeling of knowing that you did a good job because somebody gives you proof of it. “Sir, you’re awesome. Here’s a plaque!”. What? A whole year goes by and you need more proof? Here’s a certificate (they uh…stopped making plaques that year).
Quote:
- Dwight: [Dangling a bunch of grapes over his mouth, eating them]
- Michael: That’s what she said!
- Dwight: I don’t get it…
- Michael: Grapes…seductive…
Quote:
- Michael: Heisman!