Season 3, Episode 11: "Back from Vacation"
Quote:
- Jan: [to Michael] You’re wrong for me in every way. But I still find myself wanting to be with you.
Quote:
- Phyllis: I called every grocery store in Scranton, no one sells whole pigs.
- Angela: Did you try the petting zoo?
Quote:
- Toby: You know, for your own protection, you should disclose the relationship to HR.
- Michael: I bet you would love all the details, wouldn’t you? Skeevy little perv.
- Toby: Alright, if you’re having a relationship with your superior you must disclose it.
- Michael: No, no, no I am not dating Jan. She was very clear about that – just two like-souls having a romantic time in the most romantic place on earth. Got enough? Weirdo?
Quote:
- Michael: A sensitive email has been released to the office. It contains a file, a picture. The file name is ‘Jamaican Jan Sun Princess’.
Quote:
- Michael: Jan told me to play it cool and not tell anybody because it could get us both into trouble. So officially I did not see her. But I did see Jan there. In our room. At night (and in the morning). That’s all I’m going to say. Sex. We had sex…I had sex with her…I had sex with Jan.
Quote:
- Michael: How hard is a luau? All you need are some grass skirts, pineapple, poi, tiki torches, suckling pig, some fire dancers…that’s all you need.
Quote:
- Michael: Tonight we are going to have an inventory luau. I want to bring back a little slice of paradise to the Dunder Mifflin inventory.
Quote:
- Michael: You know what? Pam - make a note - I want us all to start having PIna Coladas everyday at 3.
Quote:
- Michael: You know I had never been out of the country before now? Got to see how Jamaicans live, it is great! You know? They just relax, they party all the time…
- Pam: It’s kind of an impoverished country…
- Michael: Yeah…gosh…great.
Quote:
- Andy: I am now chopping off Phyllis’ head with a chainsaw! Rinnninnninnn….