Season 3, Episode 13: "The Return"
Quote:
- Michael: It takes a big man to admit his mistake and that’s what I did. The important thing is I learned something. I don’t want somebody sucking up to me because they think I am going to help their career. I want them sucking up to me because they genuinely love me.
Quote:
- Andy: [to Michael] Just listen, I forgot to tell you the plan for this Saturday. You, me, bar, beers, buzzed. Wings, shots, drunk, waitresses, hot. Football, Cornell-Hofstra, slaughter!
Quote:
- Phyllis: Dwight had a big personality and I have a big personality and a lot of times when two people like that get together it can be explosive.
Quote:
- Oscar: We don’t even have to have a party…
- Michael: No, hey, hey, don’t be ridiculous. Of course we’re going to have a party – the celebration of Oscar. Oscar night! And I want it to be Oscar-specific.
- Oscar: Michael, I…
- Michael: No, no. I mean…not because you’re gay. Your gayness does not define you.
- Oscar: Thank you.
- Michael: Your Mexicaness is what defines you, to me, and I think we should celebrate Oscar’s Mexicanity. So Phyllis, I want you to go find firecrackers and a Chihuahua. Pam, in the frozen food section Swanson’s makes a delightful chimichanga.
- Oscar: Why don’t you have me riding in on a donkey?
- Michael: Ah, a burro. Of course, if Oscar wants a donkey let’s get him one.
Quote:
- Michael: Love that Andy, right? Solid fellow. Seems smart enough. Likes me a lot. A lot. Too much. Like a crazy person (a little). Not super crazy, just…just something about him that creeps me out, I can’t really explain it. He’s always up in my bidness, which is ebonics or being in my face and annoying the bejeezus out of me. I don’t understand how someone can have so little self-awareness.
Quote:
- Kevin: Hello Oscar, how was your gay-cation?
- Oscar: That’s very funny.
- Keving: Yeah? I thought of that, like, two seconds after you left.
Quote:
- Jim: I miss Dwight. Congratulations Universe, you win.
Quote:
- Andy: [to Jim] Sidenote, I’d just like to say I’m thrilled to be working directly beneath you. I feel I have a lot to learn from you even though you are younger and have less experience. So here’s to the future. Andy and the Tuna.
Quote:
- Dwight: There’s nothing on my horizon except everything. Everything is on my horizon.
Quote:
- Dwight: How would I describe myself? Three words: hard working, alpha male, jackhammer…merciless…insatiable…
Quote:
- Dwight: I am ready to face any challenges that might be foolish enough to face me.
Quote:
- Dwight: [at job interview] For your convenience I’ve broken it down into three parts: professional resume, athletic and special skills resume and Dwight Schrute trivia.