Season 3, Episode 16: "Business School"
Quote:
- Michael: [to Ryan’s b-school class] Ryan has never made a sale. And he started a fire trying to make a cheesy pita. And everyone thinks he’s a tease. Well you know what? He doesn’t know anything and neither do you! SO SUCK ON THAT!!!!
Quote:
- Michael: We can’t overestimate the value of computers. Yes, they are great for playing games and forwarding funny emails, but real business is done on paper.
Quote:
- Michael: So you want to start a business, how do you start? What do you need? Well first of all you need a building. Secondly you need supply. You need something to sell. Now this could be anything. It could be a thingamajig, or a whoseywhatsey or…[holds up candy bar] a Whatchamacallit. Now, you need to sell those in order to have [holds up another candy bar] a Payday. And…if you see enough of them, you will make [another candy] a 100 Grand….satisfied? [holds up a Snickers].
Quote:
- Michael: There are four kinds of business: tourism, food service, railroads and sales (and hospitals slash manufacturing…and air travel).
Quote:
- Angela: Poop is raining from the ceilings. Poop!
Quote:
- Michael: [waiting outside] Ok, this is it. Ryan is doing my intro right now.
- Ryan: [addressing to his b-school class] Dunder Mifflin can’t compete with the modern chains and management is unwilling or unable to adapt. Their customers are dying off…
- Michael: I can’t hear what he’s saying, but he looks like he’s really into it.
Quote:
- Michael: Campus…brings back so many memories that I would…have made…
Quote:
- Michael: Will they throw their hats you think?
- Ryan: What?
- Michael: A lot of times at a school or a naval academy, after a rousing speech the crowd will throw their hats into the air.
- Ryan: You understand nobody’s graduating…
- Michael: Yeah, I know, I know. I’m just saying that if they did throw their hats I’d have a great line for them. “May your hats fly as high as your dreams”.
Quote:
- Dwight: Whenever I’m about to do something, I think “would an idiot do that?” and if they would, I do not do that thing.
Quote:
- Ryan: If you bring your boss to class, it automatically bumps you up a full letter grade. So…I’d be stupid not to do it…right?
Quote:
- Michael: Today is a special day because I am being honored as a visiting professor special lecturer emeritus…how did you put it?
- Ryan: You will be a guest speaker…