Season 3, Episode 18: "The Negotiation"
Quote:
- Michael: [to Jan] You give me a good raise, or no more sex. [to Toby] What are you writing perv-ball?
Quote:
- Darryl: Make it happen captain
- Michael: I am making it happen…sargeant.
Quote:
- Michael: A boss’s salary isn’t just about money. It’s about perks. For example, every year I get a $100 gas card. Can’t put a price on that.
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- Michael: Negotiations are all about controlling things; about being in the driver’s seat. And, you make one tiny mistake and you’re dead. I made one tiny mistake, I wore woman’s clothes.
Quote:
- Michael: There were these huge bins of clothes, and everybody was rifling through them like crazy and I grabbed one. And it fit. So I don’t think that this is totally just a woman’s suit. At the very least it’s bisexual.
Quote:
- Darryl: Are you wearing lady clothes?
- Michael: What?
- Darryl: Are you wearing lady clothes? Those look like ladies pants.
- Michael: No. This is a power suit.
- Darryl: That there is a woman’s suit.
- Michael: I do not buy women’s clothes. I would not make that mistake again.
Quote:
- Toby: [talking to the camera while Ryan and Kelly make out in through the window] I don’t think Michael intended to punish me by putting Ryan back here with Kelly, but if he did intend that? Wow…genius.
Quote:
- Michael: Wikipedia is the best thing ever. Anyone in the world can write anything they want about any subject, so you know you are getting the best possible information.
Quote:
- Jim: I was lucky that Dwight was there and Roy was lucky that Dwight only used pepper spray and not the nunchuks or the throwing stars.
Quote:
- Jan: Are you going to take care of this?
- Michael: Yeppers.
- Jan: What did I tell you about “yeppers”?
- Michael: I don’t…remember…
- Jan: I told you not to say it. Do you remember that?
- Michael: Yeshhhh.
Quote:
- Michael: No need for consternation, everything is under control.
- Jan: Michael, last Friday one of your employees attacked another employee in your office.
- Michael: It was a crime of passion Jan, not a disgruntled employee. Everyone here is extremely gruntled.
- Jan: [sighs] Is Toby there?
- Michael: No…
- Toby: I’m here Jan.
Quote:
- Dwight: [tearing up after using his pepper spray] Every day, for 8 years, I have brought pepper spray into the office to protect myself and my fellow employees. And every day, for 8 years, people have laughed at me. Well, who’s laughing now?