Season 3, Episode 20: "Product Recall"
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- Disgruntled Customer: [storms out angry] I’m calling the Better Business Bureau!
- Michael: Yeah? Well I’m calling the “Ungrateful Biyotch Hotline”!
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- Dwight: I grew up on a farm. I have seen animals having sex in every position imaginable. Goat on chicken. Chicken on goat. Couple of chickens doing a goat. Couple of pigs watching…
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- Dwight: First rule in roadside beet sales, put the most attractive bets on top. The ones that make you pull the car over and go “wow, I need this beet right now”. Those are the money beets.
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- Creed: The only difference between me and a homeless man is this job. I will do whatever it takes to survive…like I did when I was a homeless man.
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- Michael: Here’s the thing, when a company screws up the best thing to do is call a press conference. Alert the media and then you control the story. Wait for them to find out and the story controls you. That’s what happened to O.J.
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- Michael: We have a lot of angry customers out there, this puts us at threat-level “midnight”.
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- Jim: [dressed like Dwight] Question: What kind of bear is best?
- Dwight: That’s a ridiculous question…
- Jim: False. Black bear.
- Dwight: That’s debatable, there are basically two schools of thought…
- Jim: Fact: Bears eat beets. Bears, beets, Battlestar Galactica.
- Dwight: Bears do not…what is going on?!? What are you doing?!?