Season 4, Episode 2: "Dunder Mifflin Infinity"
Quote:
- Andy: I’m sorry Tuna, but if you don’t see why that’s awesome then you need awesome lessons.
Quote:
- Michael: Gift baskets are amazing Phyllis. Gift baskets are the essence of class and fanciness. They are the ultimate present that a person can receive.
- Andy: What about cash? With cash you can buy whatever you want, including a gift basket. So, it’s kind of the best gift ever.
- Jim: What about a gift basket full of cash?
- Andy: Yes! Cash basket!
Quote:
- Michael: Why don’t we just go as teams to demonstrate our teamsmanship.
Quote:
- Michael: In the last year we have lost seven clients to the big chains. These gift baskets are a ticket back into their lives. We’re going to show up at these businesses unannounced and we are going to win them back.
- Ryan: With gift baskets.
- Michael: With peanut brittle. With macadamia nut cookies. With chocolate turtles. With raspberry jam and a little bit of fat and salt. Because you know what? That’s what people like.
Quote:
- Michael: Ryan wants everything in our company to be about emails and ims, but I think he is forgetting about the original instant message…letters attached to baskets of food.
Quote:
- Angela: [to Dwight] Every time I look in your eyes I see Sprinkles’ stiff, lifeless body!
Quote:
- Michael: What have we learned? We have learned that you can’t teach an old dog new tricks because it’s illegal and you will go to jail.
Quote:
- Michael: Well there has been a lot of talk about new ideas today. Well new ideas are fine, but they are also illegal because they are a form of ageism. What? Yes, I am right.
Quote:
- Jan: He’s such a snake. I hope he gets hit with an ageism suit.
- Michael: What is…that…word?
Quote:
- Michael: We had a foreign exchange student live with us when I was young and we called him my brother – and that’s what I thought he was – and then he went home to what is now formerly Yugoslavia taking all of my blue jeans with him. And I had to spend the entire winter in shorts. That is what Ryan is like. A fake brother who steals your jeans.
Quote:
- Ryan: Michael, everybody…let me say something. I know I used to be a temp here. But now everything is different. I’d like your respect. I am your boss now. You’re going to have to treat me the same way you treated Jan.
- Michael: Oh wow, that’s a little kinky! I don’t swing that way…
Quote:
- Angela: What is that?
- Dwight: It’s a feral barn cat. I trapped him last night and I’m giving him to you as a replacement cat for the one I destroyed.
- Angela: Her name was Sprinkles…
- Dwight: And his name is Garbage. Mose calls him Garbage because he likes to eat garbage.
Quote:
- Andy: Jim Halpert’s off the market. Guess who just became the best looking single guy in the office?
Quote:
- Angela: It’s not a surprise to me. Pam is the office mattress.
Quote:
- Michael: Let the bells of Dunder Mifflin chime out your love because this is really good, this is really good. My heart soars with the eagle’s nest.